Pismo Problems

Here is a story about a very dysfunctional and well-known family that has lived in Pismo Beach, CA from the late 1800s up until present day. It was generations of kids and adults that grew with the community. They appeared perfect on the outside, but the turmoil was unbearable from the inside. There was constant fighting over properties, family wealth, family heirlooms and community status. It seemed to be never-ending. However, there was one thing that brought the large family together. The Pismo Beach Monarch Butterfly Grove.

It was every November that this complicated family went to visit the Monarchs. No matter what. It was something that actually brought peace and tranquility to the family and all their problems seem to disappear when they were together watching thousands of these beautiful butterflies hanging out in these huge eucalyptus trees. It was nature at its finest. The Monarchs migrate every fall and winter leaving town around February. The family looked forward to it every year, but on the way over, the fighting started. It was only when they stepped out of the car, the family seemed to care and love each other once again.

Back in the 1880s, Carl the patriarch of this legendary and tortured family, made a fortune in the rugged ranching business in what is now Fresno in the Central Valley of California. He sold all of his land and thousands of cattle and moved to Pismo Beach, buying up land and property with his hefty earnings. His job went from cowboy to real estate mogul, taking over the relatively unknown Pismo. The Central Valley is known for its scorching heat waves, so the cool coastal environment was new and enticing to the family. Carl’s wife Margaret raised their two sons Dean and Rick, while Carl taught them how to be tough as nails ranchers. The boys were uncomfortable with this drastic change because they were raised on a ranch and had no idea how to run a property management business. It was not an easy transition for them. This is when the quarreling just became part of their everyday life.

Rick and Dean were 21 and 20 years of age when Carl packed up shop and transplanted his family to Pismo. They were extremely close but intensely competitive with everything they did. Dean was more athletic, however Rick had the brains and seemed to to be liked by Carl a little more simply because he came into this world first. Dean kept this inside and held it against his dad while putting on a smile for the family business. They started working on the farm at age six, brutally being worked by Carl. He expected his boys to work as hard as he did because he started at age 4. His expectations seemed unrealistic to the boys, but they did what they had to do to avoid the wrath from the whiskey drinking cowboy.

Carl and Margaret were both from the same small town in the Central Valley. They grew up together on thousands of acres of land and cattle. They fell in love after years of being best friends and had an inseparable connection that only they understood. When they finally married, both families combined to be one of the biggest ranch businesses in California. They dominated the area and Carl new it. He worked hard and played hard and built a reputation as a hard-nosed cowboy that didn’t let anyone get away with anything. He lead with an iron fist, but had a smile that no one could resist. People loved and respected him and his family even though they were both cutthroat when it came to their money. They were adored for all that they did for their community, constantly putting money back into the town. They were slowly but surely building an empire to pass down to the boys. The family appeared healthy on the surface but little did people know what was actually happening within the complex family.

When it came to the new property management business (Central Properties), each family member had their own job to do. Carl was the developer, so he was buying, selling and building residential and commercial properties all throughout Pismo Beach. Dean handled all the handiwork. He was good-looking, strong, quick and had the right mind for it. It allowed him to enjoy his adult beverages and hang with the local ladies. Rick dealt with all of the tenants but was not a people person. It was enjoyable when all the checks came in at the beginning of the month, but other than that, it was a hard job for the sharper son. Margaret balanced the books like a master accountant. She had veins of ice and without her, there was no operation. Dean had it the best. He loved people and only had to be friendly with the residents. Rick on the other hand had to be the hard-ass who dealt with all of the headaches. Margaret was the nicest lady but was machete-sharpe and would get on all the boys when the numbers were not in the black. Carl wheeled and dealed making friends in high and low places. Real Estate can get ugly fast so the family needed to be on their game at all times.

It was a hot and sunny day by the water and Dean was by himself fixing up a beach house that the family just purchased. It was light blue with huge windows overlooking the day’s decent-sized surf. Dean was incredible at what he did. He did it the right way with integrity and efficiency. He was lightening fast and extremely effective when doing his job. He just did it all while tasting and drinking a variety of wine, beer and spirits. Sometimes a mix of it all. He was actually better with a little buzz. While hammering in a long nail and drinking some 1887 Ascension Paso Robles Zinfandel, this attractive woman in red tapped on Dean’s shoulder. “Excuse me, are you Rick?” “No, I’m Dean, how can I help you?” “I’m Barbara and I’m interested in being your secretary.”

“Oh wow!” Dean thought and almost said. “Would you like some wine?” he charmingly asked. “Sure, why not?” She happily accepted. He took the bottle and poured the Zinfandel into a whiskey tumbler that he kept at the beach house. “Cheers!” and they clinked their glasses. After some flirty chit-chat, Dean looked her deep in the eyes and said, “Did you know that at the least 9000 years ago, there were Chumash Native Americans living right here where we are standing? They named the area Pismu for the tar that was here. In 1769 or so, the Spanish explorer Don Gaspar de Portola landed at the beach, partying and camping while they were exploring the dunes and coastal area. Around 70 years later, the land was gifted to Jose Ortega from the Mexican land grants. They named it Rancho El Pismo. The ranch then was sold to Issac Sparks about six years later and then purchased by John Price and Francis Branch after that. Price then sold a chunk of his portion to my Dad years later. He couldn’t say no to the ridiculous amount of money that my Dad offered him.” “Can you pour me some more please?” as Barbara smiled and moved closer.

Before Dean could even pour the whiskey glass with Zinfandel, Barbara moved in for a sensual caress and kiss. Dean didn’t hesitate. He was a ladies man, so this was nothing new. Tenants were always coming on to him. As Dean obliged with the kiss, things started getting hot and heavy fast. Next thing you know, Dean and Barbara’s tops were off and they began to pursue some serious heavy petting. You should know the rest. As they both put their clothes back on Barbara smiled and confidently asked, “So, did I get the job?” There was a quick pause and then a “Yes, you did!” Dean said with a charming smile. He independently made the decision which he did have the right to do. The family usually makes group decisions but Carl and Margaret trusted the boys when it came to their roles and responsibilities. “When do I start?” Barbara assertively asked.” “Right now!” said Dean confident as can be. After that was finalized, he then moved in for another kiss and next thing you know, they were at it again. This time hotter and heavier but with the same result. When they were putting their clothes back on again, Dean said, “Ok, first line of business. No one can know about this. Second, I have an empty glass, and third, we need to let my family know.” Barbara was game and said, “Sounds good, fill ‘er up!

It was a few days later that the family had Barbara over for dinner to finally meet their new secretary. She knocked on the door and Dean hustled over and answered it quickly. Barbara came in with another red dress but this one was a little tighter and shorter. She had her red lipstick and long hair looking perfect. Carl almost fell out of his seat. Rick got nervous and Margaret did not look happy. She walked in the huge house and Dean offered her a glass of the 1871 Buena Vista Cabernet Sauvignon from Sonoma County. “Why, thank you.” she sensuously voiced. Everyone was magnetized by her beauty and natural sex appeal. “Barbara, tell me about yourself.” Carl nicely asked. “Well, I’m from San Luis Obispo. I’m 22, I work on my Dad’s farm and I’m looking to get some business experience. “Well you came to the right place!” Carl said, lightly flirting with her. Margaret noticed and fiercely glared at him. Rick soon chimed in and asked Barbara, “We are over a million dollar business, do you think you can handle that?” “Yes, my dad is a millionaire so we should get along just fine.” Carl grinned and asked Barbara, “Do you like steak?” Barbara looked at Dean first, smiled and answered back, “I love steak. Especially when Dean cooks it up.” The family all looked at each other confused wondering what she meant because Dean couldn’t cook and he only met Barbara once. Actually twice.

The evening ended up going well for the new crew. They stayed up all night drinking Pismo whiskey that Carl made from his homemade still. Barbara stayed the night in one of their seven guest bedrooms. The place was enormous. Dean snuck in her room at 4:45am for a quickie almost getting noticed in the hallway by Rick. Although Barbara almost got caught rubbing Dean under the table at dinner, she was accepted as family that night. It was only about two months later and Barbara was killing it at her job. She was everyone’s assistant so she was constantly being dragged in all different directions. Carl loved her around. He was trying to prove that he was still a young buck, but Barbara shut it down each time he got grossly flirty. Which was most of the time. “You dirty dog.” she would always tell him. Dean and her would do business at the beach sometimes, talking wine, life and most of the time anything but work. They spent every moment looking over their shoulders trying to avoid anyone seeing them touching or making out. So far, no one knew about them, so they were doing a good job keeping it on the down low. It was now a Tuesday and they were drinking beers on the sand talking about their next rendezvous. “You know the other beach house on Main? It’s empty but I have a bed there too. I’ll meet you at 2pm tomorrow.” “I’ll be there.” Barbara said after a firm crotch grab.

It’s now 1898 and Rick had developed quite the gambling problem, secretly keeping his troublesome habit from his family who didn’t know how bad it actually was. He would meet up at the saloon in town which had a secret poker room in the back bringing in guests from all over the state. There was heavy gambling going on and the drinking was ferocious, everyone winning and losing big seven days a week. There were outlaws, local and beyond businessmen and cowboys filling the tables. Rick always said he needed to go meet a tenant to discuss rent payments and since it went with his job description, no one ever suspected anything wrong with the picture. He kept cowboy boot boxes full to the brim with cash filling his closet which had more boxes then clothes. He would go up $1000, down $5000, up $10,000 and so on. He was riding the gambling highs and lows with the best of them. Fights always broke out in the saloon and poker room where guns were drawn often. The outlaws were the ones mostly causing the trouble and the locals just dealt with it knowing it was part of the dangerous experience. No one wanted to mess with these deadly gun slingers. The locals drank wine from Paso Robles and whiskey from Pismo, always drinking until the wee hours of the night. The boys were always up late working and checking on the properties, so Margaret didn’t suspect his dealings because the numbers all added up. Rick would take the money from his salary so it did not show up in the books. Carl and Dean knew he would play, but they didn’t know he was there every single night.

Moving back to 1892, Dean and Barbara met up as planned and were sipping on an 1885 Beringer Cab in the Main St. beach house when there was a loud knock at the door. The two rushed to put their clothes back on while an even harder knock followed. “Who is it?” Dean yelled from the empty room with just a bed in it. “It’s Dad!” Carl yelled while peeking through the side window. “Be right there!” Dean nervously replied finally getting his shirt back on. Dean opened the door to the empty house and Carl saw Barbara standing there sweating looking extremely uncomfortable. “What the hell is going on in here? I saw your horses outside. You guys aren’t sleeping with each other are you?” “No way, we would never do that Sir.” followed Barbara, still breathing hard with wine stains on her teeth. “What the hell are you doing here then?” “We have been having a business meeting.” Dean voiced back. “Is that a bed in the room? Dean, you can’t sleep with our secretary!” Carl furiously said starting to figure out what was really going on between the two of them. Dean looked Carl right in the eyes and said, “We promise, we are just here trying to figure out who we can get to move in.” “Alright then, I don’t believe you so knock it off.” Carl doubtfully replied, clearly upset with his employees.

Move up to December 1927 and Dean was in Avila Beach unloading illegal whiskey from a boat during prohibition. He had a few seedy friends that were deep in the bootlegging business and Pismo was a great place to store and drink it. “Hurry up, we need to get out of here.” Dean said with one more case left in the boat. “This is going in my Dad’s whiskey room.” he said to one of the smugglers. Carl had a room filled with his own whiskey along with a bunch of others from in and out of town. His room had his homemade still, whiskey barrels and also cases of illegal wine. The family was the wealthiest and most influential in Pismo, so they were pretty much untouchable. Carl’s whiskey was better than anything that came through, so it just added to his power and legend. Margaret knew all about the operation, but she knew to pretend like she had no idea. When Dean got to Carl’s room, him and his friend were already three sheets to the wind from trying a bunch of the booze that came in. Right as they put the last case down, Dean’s friend said, “I think Al Capone is coming this week.”…